27 Living Together and Your Rights if You Separate
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2. Why is living together different from being married?
4. Making a ´living together agreement´
5. When you are living together
This section highlights how the law applies in various areas where your situation differs from that of a married couple, and tells you what you can do to protect each other and your children, if this is possible.
If you have children
An unmarried mother has 'parental responsibility' automatically for her children. Parental responsibility is the legal term that means all the rights and duties of parenthood. The child's father can only share parental responsibility if:
- he later marries the mother;
- the child's birth was registered after 1 December 2003 and he is named on the birth certificate as the father;
- the child's birth was registered before 1 December 2003 and no father's name was included on the birth certificate, but the birth has been re-registered and the father's name added;
- the parents enter into a 'parental responsibility agreement';
- a court makes an order for parental responsibility; or
- he gets a 'residence order' (a court order that says who a child will live with).
Same-sex couples who become civil partners can share parental responsibility for a child either by entering into a parental responsibility agreement or by getting a court order for parental responsibility.
Do we both need parental responsibility?
In normal everyday life it makes little difference whether you both have parental responsibility. A parent who has it can delegate it (pass it on) to another adult. In an emergency any adult can take action to protect a child in his or her care. But in more formal situations, such as giving consent to medical treatment for the child, only an adult with parental responsibility can do this.
However, if the child's mother dies and the father doesn't have parental responsibility, he would have to apply for a court order to get it. This can add to the complications after such a death.
Stepchildren
In law, the terms 'stepchild' and 'step-parent', apply to married relationships and civil partnerships. If you are an unmarried 'step-parent', you have no legal or financial responsibility for the children of your partner.
However, if you have a close bond with your stepchildren and it seems to you and your partner that having a legal relationship would help, you could make a joint application to the court to have an order for 'shared residence', which would bring with it parental responsibility.
Your partner can also appoint you as the guardian of your stepchildren in case she or he dies first. However, this will not take effect if the children's other parent has parental responsibility and is still alive.
Your partner can also appoint you as the guardian of your stepchildren in case she or he dies first. However, this will not take effect if the children's other parent has parental responsibility and is still alive when your partner dies.
6. If you or your partner dies
7. State benefits for people living together
11. Arrangements if you have children
13. Sorting out other items you own
15. Terms used in matters to do with living together
This leaflet is published by the Legal Service Commission (LSC). It was written in association with Imogen Clout, a solicitor specialising in family law.
Latest version: August 2006